The Narcissist at Work
‘Nobody should be in a position where they are suffering abuse at the hands of another, and if this is the case for you, stopping the abuse by leaving the situation is the only course of action to take’
Theresa Jackson
The Narcissist at work explained …
Do you feel helpless, confused and hurt? Do you wonder what you have done to deserve being treated like this? Are you finding yourself now worrying about your career, your livelihood and why all of a sudden it is in jeopardy? Do you ask yourself what changed at work?
These questions are often as a result of the work of a narcissistic co-worker.
In the beginning you took the job as you felt it was a naturally progression on the career ladder. All’s you wanted to do, was get stuck into your new role, be successful and to be happy at work.
Unfortunately, sitting on the side lines is the narcissistic co-worker, waiting to test and evaluate your worth to them. They may appear at first as helping you out, mentoring you, supporting and guiding you during your induction or settling in period at your new place of work. But, really they are seeing how far they can push you, wanting to know if you will you give 150%, do you have those great ideas, will you and do you praise them and thank them for everything that they do for you?
As you begin to settle in, the co-worker is just waiting to steal that idea from you and pass it off as theirs. They then lose their ‘friendship mask’ as you dare to say ‘no’ to them at this point you have sealed your fate with them. Your demise begins. The injury that you have caused the narcissist by standing up for yourself will now be used against you to destroy and discredit you within the work place.
The narcissist co-worker can be compared to that of the ‘playground bully’ as they very rarely operate on their own, they use their ‘flying monkeys’ to discredit you professionally by spreading malicious lies and rumours about you as they have full control over you now. The biggest fear to the narcissistic co worker is that of losing control in the workplace.
Narcissistic have no boundaries and are capable of far more than the average person can comprehend.
See the below example guide of how a narcissist operates within the workplace.
Stage One: Idealize
Initially the narcissist at work will test and evaluate your worth to them as they want to see if you will give 150% to your role, if you do, they know they can and will control you. CONTROL is what defines the narcissist’s abuse.
From the start they will claim that they are supporting you, mentoring you and even nurturing you to help you to settle into your new role. However, they are merely sitting and waiting for you to produce that ‘great idea’ that they can claim as their own. The narcissist co-worker thrives on praise and have a bottomless pit of need for admiration. However, alternatively if you are of a strong nature and boundaries (exceptionally productive in work but leave work on time) and refuse to pick up some of their work or say ‘no’ to them. You may find they will leave you alone or they will begin to spread malicious lies and rumours about you in order to attempt to drive you out of the organisation. Therefore, leaving room for a more amenable character to be employed in your place.
Stage Two: Devalue
This stage is about destroying you once the narcissist has indeed determined your worth to them. The will either use their ‘flying monkeys’ to spread malicious rumours and lies about you, will sabotage your work or can even steal work from you in an attempt to discredit and destroy you professionally. The ultimate goal here is for you to leave.
Stage Three : The Discard
Within the stage the narcissist has achieved what they set out to do, you have ultimately been ‘framed and shamed’ by the lies, that the narcissist has tarnished you with.
You career within this organisation is OVER!
Do you know a Narcissist?
Everything will revolve around this person. It will be all about their needs, their wants their life.
Nothing will ever be their fault. Even with evidence to the contrary, it still is Never their fault.
They neglect you, take you for granted, and never make you feel important or valuable.
Selfish is an understatement when you are dealing with them.
They lack empathy and compassion, and the only feelings they care about is their own.
Everyone around them are objects to be used for their own gratification or needs.